It’s hard to imagine an American breakfast landscape without Pop-Tarts, or a Pop-Tart without frosting. Fortunately, only one of those things exists, and I ate it (hint: it wasn’t the landscape).
To be more accurate, I ate and ranked a staggering 27 different types of Pop-Tarts: all the ones that are on the market today – plus two seasonal varieties – for the sake of science. Turns out that Kellogg’s has been busy since the first four flavors of P-Tarts were released back in 1964.
Pop-Tart taste-test ground rules
All of the Pop-Tarts you’ll see below were lightly toasted, according to the directions on the box, because integrity is important. They were all, also, consumed in a 24-hour period to avoid any lapses in comparative tasting abilities. Toaster Strudels were stopped at the door.
27. Unfrosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon
I’m going to start this off with an admission that will color some of my other reviews: I’ve always thought cinnamon was a bit boring. To utilize a hip, timely cultural reference, if given the choice between chocolate babka and a cinnamon babka, I will not choose the lesser. Still, I know a lot of people who swear by Brown Sugar Cinnamon. I’m sure they would probably also agree that frosting adds a lot to a Pop-Tart – it’s something interesting to look at. This doesn’t have a lot going on. It feels naked, unfinished. There are greater Pop-Tarts to come.
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